Last night I went to a concert at our church sponsored by FLN. It was a fun night because there was food, a lot of my friends, and I was away from home for a while and able to unwind. Originally I wasn't intending to go at all, but a friend wanted to volunteer at the event, and her 3 month old was going to be just a 'lil hindrance to her. Being the great friend that I am, (please don't choke on the sip of coffee you just took!) I sacrificially offered to take her precious bundle for those times she would need to be doing other things, and thought it would be nice to help her out. Then she decided it would be better to be at a missions conference in Florida trying to raise support with her husband for their mission in Italy. Whatever. I guess we all have our priorities!!! :)
Anyhow, I am glad it worked out that I did end up going. Not because I particularly loved the concert... though it was very nice. I would have liked to take home with me a CD of hers, mostly the Christmas one... never can have too many of those! Low (actually NO) cash flow prevented that.
What I did take home with me was something she said between songs. She kept reiterating how she used to seek fame and wanted a secular singing career. She would make a dramatic stop in her body language and emphatically say with a tinge of sarcasm, "I am just glad God has not struck me dead!" We all laughed, but a while later she continued the thought. She said her sin was the same wickedness that got Satan kicked out of Heaven- a prideful desire to get some of God's glory. The only reason she did not receive the same fate was God through Jesus Christ made a plan of redemption.
WHEW! That made me stop in my mental tracks, and think of all the times my pride has put my agenda ahead of Christ. All the times I blew the chance to glorify God instead of talking about what I did to achieve something in my life.
I would like to say I had an alter call moment right there in my nice stadium style seat, but it took me a while to really come to a place of surrender. God really wants to change the fabric of my heart, and still hasn't let me stop thinking of it. Even through math integers and terrestrial biome studies, the Lord continued to press me and ask "Am I the Lord of all? Are you fully surrendered?" My heart says yes, my head says yes, but I just know that my flesh will war with me. I know it is THE battle I must fight to live victoriously in this life, and I know fasting (...!!!...) will play a major role in winning this one. And not just once! Nice time of year for all these thoughts to take root. Yeah, I know!
p.s. The picture is compliments of my daughter... becoming quite the photographer, she is!