On Glasses...

Right out of high school I went to college in Buffalo, NY, to become an optician. I actually earned my degree and worked in the field for the past 24 years.

I say that only because I know so many people who go to college for years and get a masters in oceanography and end up being a claims adjuster for an insurance company or something else completely unrelated to their degree. I find that I (and my husband as a matter of fact, who did the exact same thing...!) am an unusual statistic! It really has made us think twice about the way we encourage our kids to pursue their "forever" life goals... however none of this has much to do with the topic...

I think I need some sort of therapy to manage my scatter-hair-brainedness! ...

Ok... I became an optician in 1987... Wow was that a long time ago! Since then I have dispensed glasses with no-line bifocals to my unsuspecting public with complete confidence and reassuring words that they are wonderful, and after a few short weeks they will acclimate to them with no problems and love me forever as the rescuer of their previously unappreciated youthful sight.

And then I turned 43, and needed them myself.

What had I been doing all those years?! I am now an avid hater of no line bifocals! (I can use the word hate because glasses are an inanimate object with no feelings or sensitivities for me to harm.) Up to this point, I solved my "issues" (well, my VISUAL issues. Others are still on the "solutions waiting list...!) by getting glasses that are not for distance or reading, a sort of visual compromise. It had worked pretty well for me for the past few years. No longer.

The above is a sampling (sadly only a partial collection! I am kind of like the shoe sales associate that gave Imelda a run for her money... only in the optical field!) of glasses past and present that I have used in every attempt to Make It Work. My employer did nothing but encourage me with free pairs of glasses and significant discounts to associates. And then add an online website that offers complete glasses starting at $6.95 (are you KIDDING ME??! NO... they aren't!) and the possibilities to solve my issue without  no-lines were endless!!!

I could tell you with complete honesty that my eyes are unusual. Really, they are clinically unusual, not just because they are in my head. 

(Be prepared to be wow-ed and impressed with a bunch of technical words.) 

My right eye is myopic with a slight astigmatism, and my left eye is hyperopic with tons (yes, that is a technical word!) of astigmatism, and now I am a presbyope. That even sounds painful just to say! 

Alas, I have had to bite the optical bullet and get bifocals.

I am not sure if I will survive this.

Suffice it to say I need to make a blanket apology to all the patients I have patronized, pacified, adjusted and (lovingly, of course...) called certifiable in the past. You were so right. I had no idea. Please forgive me.

I once helped a patient who told me it took them two years to finally adjust to their no-line bifocals. I pray I can succeed as quickly!

From here on out, I make no excuse, explanation or apology for the inevitable typos, skewed pictures and bad hair and make up days. I cannot see any of it with any degree of clarity so I am completely off the hook.

Amen.

Lists, Lists and More Lists!

There is an application on my computer called STICKIES that is like an endless supply of little yellow post it notes... and I am so addicted. Every little thing that comes into my brain can be put on one of these little notes and it is saved for me to be retrieved at my whim, and I dont have to think of it again until I need to think of it. You know what I mean? OFTEN through out the day I think "I need to remember to do this" or "Don't forget to include this", and lately it has been a little out of control, as my entire life is being evaluated through the lens of, "Will I use up some of my 50 pound per bag allotment with ThiS?!" My whole life is being evaluated, quantified, weighed and measured in the balances of "need vs. want", and "light vs. heavy"!! I have lists of things like "helpful gadgets", "personal needs", "medical essentials", "what would I run to Walmart for", "If Weight and Space allows"...! Craziness that is just what my brain is going through as we prepare to move to Zambia. Sometimes I wonder if I am being given too much time to think through it all! 

 This is what my laptop desktop would look like if I am not careful! Thankfully the little application allows me to shrink the notes up into a little bar that has only the first line showing! I am truly grateful for the time to mentally prepare for The Move.  I am also grateful for the past two years of living in a camper. It has clearly shown me what I REALLY need, and what was toted along thinking I would need it and never took it out, and also what was toted along and almost never used, but when I needed it, boy was I glad I had it! Deputation has a way of preparing us for ALL aspects of ministry!

 Time is my friend and my enemy at times. I am trying to cram everything into little boxes in my head, and realize that my nature is compatible with that. I like to have everything classified, organized, filed and taken care of.

And then I wake up and realize that LIFE is not compatible with that!

Things blend into one another and get mixed up, and intertwine and intersect at too many places. To categorize my life into "Moving" and "staying" and "living here" and "living there" is an exercise in futility and for me is really not possible. I am learning to take it one day at a time, and make lists on my computer.

I am able to dream of perfection and have a place to quantify it. When reality hits, I delete the sticky.

Easy Peasy!

I love this stage we are in. We are given the gift of time with our children. Time with family and friends. Time with Walmart and Wegmans. Time with consistent electricity and water! I am purposefully and purposely enjoying this time. Learning to appreciate the amazing gifts I still have complete access to is a good way to live. It makes me realize how spoiled I am. And how much God truly has blessed me with.

When I am tempted to be stressed or anxious about the unknown, I trust the Lord because there have been plenty of times in the past that I have felt the same way and worse, and HE NEVER LET ME DOWN. He is always a good God, and no matter what comes to me, it has passed through his mind and hands first. He knows what I need and don't need, and I am his child. I am thankful for verses that have held me and helped me through so much of this course we are on.

John 10:27-29, Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 139, Jeremiah 33:3, Exodus 33:12-17.

God made me, knows me, has a plan for me, and will complete it. As long as I surrender to His will, and trust His word, what shall I fear?

A Psalm of David. 

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? 

Psalm 27:1

Surgeries and Recoveries...

I hesitate to include pictures of the boys because they may very well disown me. Or bury me in my house and no one will ever find me again. They are  much bigger and stronger than me, but this is where they will, in the future... many years from now, look back and be glad I posted these embarrassing and not so flattering pictures. I don't have any pictures of me post wisdom teeth surgery. And I would So like to see one. Really! 

Our children were all born with thin cheeks. We didn't have even one that had those kind of cheeks that you cannot help but just SQUEEZE! Well Savannah got them around 9 months... I will have to find them and post them later! So CUTE! 

This is from a few months ago, just as a reference. Pretty slim cheeks, don't you think? 

Dimples showing and everything! 

And here is the picture for posterity. Is it a good thing? Well maybe not this soon after surgery. They both had all four wisdom teeth removed at once, and the reason his jaw is receiving ice in this shot was because that tooth was drilled into pieces and pulled out bit by bit. Si was later telling us how a part of the tooth fell DOWN HIS THROAT and the guy made him sit up to cough it out... Wow! And I am sure that was easy in his Novocain-ed state!

"Um dude, I can't feel my throat!"

Not good! Despite how it looks in this picture, he wasn't otherwise drugged. I think the state of his eyelids is either a mid-blink, or a result of shock. I am not sure.

 Levi shortly after surgery. Pre-swelling to be sure. Post swelling and his face wouldn't fit into a single camera frame. I would have had to do a panoramic shot. Not kidding. Well, maybe a kidding a little, but he had some seriously huge cheeks.

Caution... if you are squeamish, SCROLL FAST!

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One more....

Siah in a swollen self portrait. He actually doesn't look bad compared to other people, but he usually has only bones showing. Even as babies my boys never had cheeks! 

Cutest little one year olds if ever there were any.... but pretty slim cheeks! :)

Needless to say, they did not return to work that after noon. Nor did they return to work for several more days after that! They had the surgery on a Thursday AM and were back to work by the next Tuesday... which I think is AMAZING!! Their stitches are all removed...  now that they found the few that the office missed taking out...!!

We are all glad it is over and they will never have to go through that again!

Summer of Stuff...

This is likely the last summer I will spend in America for a few years. That being said, I am trying to enjoy it as such, but life keeps getting in the way. The audacity!

I know in my head that the logistics of moving to Zambia will be overwhelming and crazy, and having the time to prepare for it is helpful to be sure. SO I have been looking for suitable bags in which to pack our life up into in order to board them onto a jet and fly them with us. Most suitcases are well over 7 pounds, and that is just NOT acceptable considering I could well use 6 of those pounds to bring a pot or a drill. I am just saying. So I am desperately seeking durable duffle bags that are <1 pound. I think I have found the one... now to collect the 10 Bed Bath and Beyond 20% off coupons. I REFUSE to buy at retail...!!

Also knowing this is the last summer in the states, I am trying to be proactive in our health and such. That being said, four family members will be having surgery in the same week. The three oldest kids will have all their wisdom teeth extracted, and I will have a "procedure." (I am very excited to have it, and that is all I am saying.) All the surgeries will require some significant down time to be sure. The two boys that will be having their wisdom teeth out currently work for a roofing contractor. They are out by 6 am and regularly haul 40 lb. packs of roofing shingles up ladders and work with their bodies bent in half using power staplers and roofing shovels and pneumatic nailers. Often for 10 hour days. (So good for them! Building lots of character... like they were deficient or something!) They cracked me up when after the appointment was scheduled for their surgeries (they have 8:30 am appointments...) they asked, "So should we tell our boss we will be there after lunch that day?" Seriously. They have no idea.

Also we have been trying to finish sorting through all of our earthly possessions. We have decided to retain things of use for our children, and deciding what is keeps and what is chuckers can take some time. Also deciding where to put it that is FREE, out of the way but not in a place where it will be ruined in the process has been a bit of a challenge. I think we are nearly settled on the location. Now to get busy sorting it all!

Other than that we have been loving the summer! We have reconnected with our church family, which is a delight! We are blessed beyond measure, and praise the Lord for his unfailing faithfulness.

Our time here is fleeting for sure, and come September we will be hitting the road again. We are also in the process of deciding when to sell the travel trailer and truck. Anyone need either one of these things? Please reply and I will be sure to get you all the info!!

Until I get a few minutes to write... !

To Give or Not To Give...

These verses are written about building the Temple in the Wilderness and it happens After the children were disobedient and broke off their ear rings and made the molten calf to worship as their god. All of that gold was ground to powder and scattered upon the water, and the Bible says Moses then made them drink the water.

Now chapters and who knows how much time later, the children are called to bring their offerings to build the house of God. These were all the things from the spoil of Egypt. Some chose to squander it on their own lusts and make themselves an image of idolitry. Others kept it, and now had the opportunity to use it for the house of the Lord God.

How many who broke off their earrings for the golden calf were now unable to give to the house of God? How many had regret and remorse at their 20/20 hindsight now realizing they could have no part in the monetary giving?

Application:

We have the spoils of Egypt too. God- the same God that brought Israel out of Egypt- brings us out of this world and gives us blessings in abundance.

Then we have a choice.

Do we build His house, or squander it on idols and the lusts in our life?

Do we tithe or buy the new dress?

Ok, make it a little more like the situation for some people....

Do we tithe and truly put ourselves in a position of faith because now we seriously don't even have sufficient money for groceries?

Wow. That might look a lot like FaiTH!!

Let's put it in terms that are more likely the case for most of us in the good 'ol USA.

Do we tithe and not get the acrylic nails, cappuccinos, flip flops in every color, 1/2k diamond earrings, hilights, lowlights, theater tickets, chrome rims, ....... You get my point.

OK, say you are tithing. I think the statistic is 10% of Bible believing Christians tithe, so to you.

I think a good question is, should God ask you to give to His kingdom up and above, could you if your heart was willing? Have you increased your living standard to your level of income, and now couldn't give more because of Master Card and Sallie Mae? A quote that has stuck with me and haunted me more than a few times...

"God does not prosper you in order to increase your standard of living, but to increase your standard of giving."

Do we even begin to understand what it means to live in light of Eternity??

Graduation!

June 9th, 2012 Josiah

On Fire...

There is a phrase people often say that has never set well with me for whatever reason. I understand the premise of it... to be spent, used completely, nothing left, leave it all on the table. But in the context of spiritual truth and Biblical precedent, I disagree that "I want to burn out for Christ".

Semantics, maybe. But true none the less.

Last Wednesday night I had the privilege to sit at church and be preached to by a young 20 year old man that I have known since before his birthday. His mother and I were pregnant at the same time- my oldest, her third born. He has always been a good kid, but now he is a man of God that can preach!

His message was about Rack, Shack and Benny out of Daniel 3. (Not their real names... they have been changed because I love veggie tales to protect their identity.) His whole message was a plea for us to not believe the Lie of the flesh and the world that we are bound in our sin. He passionately presented the facts that while the three men were "bound" before they were put into the fire, the ONLY thing that the fire had an effect on were their bindings!

Those boys were obedient to God, and still they faced the trial of CHOOSING to obey God at the RISK of their life. They chose to OBEY.  Their obedience to God DIRECTLY caused a trial in their life. They were put in a fiery furnace fully meant to and completely able to consume them. To burn them up!

Every one of us as the opportunity to KNOW God. In knowing God, we then have the choice... will we obey? When we obey, we may (more likely in this day and age as well!) suffer persecution for righteousness. (And get a crown, by the way!)

Will we till obey?! We are given the opportunity to PROVE our LOVE to God.

"I speak not by commandment, but by occasion of the forwardness of others, and to prove the sincerity of your love." II Corinthians 8:8

If we - because of obedience to God, suffer a fiery trial, we will certainly experience some heat, but the only thing that may be burned are our bindings, or the dross that makes the Gold and Silver of our works for Christ less pure. Let the wrong motives and selfish desires be purified in the fire, and then give God glory in the knowledge that you are being made into the image of our dear Savior!

So do I want to Burn Out for Christ? No, I don't think I do.

Do I however want to be placed into the Lord's burning fire of testing and trial? No, not in my flesh I don't. But that is where the verses of me taking up my cross daily and dying to what my flesh wants come in.

Do I want to be as pure Gold and Silver at the coming of my Savior or at His calling me home? YES!

So let the trials come, because they will whether I ask for them or not!

"Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:" I Peter 4:12

Trials WILL Come! But every trial will only bring God's perfect intended result if I submit, surrender and obey.

"Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. " Ephesians 6:16