Ladies Conference January 2023 by Jan Jalowiec

The following are links to the audio files of a conference from January 2023. There are three audio files, and below them are the links to the videos that were played during the conference, as well as the informational sheet that was gone over in session 3.  

Im sorry that this first audio file doesn't start until 1:26 but don't know why! Just fast forward to that point I guess! 

Session 1 "Lift Up your Eyes" 

Video for Session 1

 

Im also sorry that the audio recording had a malfunction and this session missed the first half of the recording. Oh Technology how we love you. 

Session 2 "Look on the Field" 

Video for session 2

 

Session 3 Resources and Q&A

Video for session 3

"Manifesto Doc" 

Informational Sheet for Reference

* Proverbs 31 Therapy and Theology Series on YouTube

* “Control Girl” book by Shannon Popkin 

* “The Empowered Wife” book by Laura Doyle Book and Podcast (Episode 161) 

* Leslie Vernic: YouTube and Books. Marriage help, and clarity on Biblical Relationships. 

GOD TRIBE - my personal manifesto! 

G- Generous: Believe people are doing the best they can! 

    *GRATEFUL

O- On The Hook: I don’t make myself the exception

    *On My Own Paper

D- Discreet/Dignified: careful in actions and speech to avoid causing offense or to gain an advantage  

    *DUCT TAPE

T- Tenderhearted: Being Kind and Gentle. Looking for the best in others. Not suspicious! 

    *Take Care of Me/self care 

R- Reliable: Stable, Steady and sincere! 

    *Receive Well

 I- Integrity: Living whole, undivided, honest and with strong moral principles. 

    *”I Hear You” Listening Well=Respect. Doesn’t mean I Agree!  

B- Bordered: Healthy Relational Boundaries 

    *Be Squeaky Clean with Accountability. What was My Part in the Problem? only if 1% me? Be Vulnerable

E- Expectant: Full of Belief knowing God is Working and Moving in your life!  

    *Express needs Not Complaints! 

LEARN WHEN TRIGGERED! 

Ask Myself ::

1. What am I afraid of?
2. Is my fear realistic?
3. Can I actually control the situation?
4. Is it worth losing the intimacy trying to control? 

CORE: 

It needs to be strengthened! 

Committed to truth 

Open to the Holy Spirit 

Responsible and respectful

Empathetic and compassionate 

JADE: things NOT to do 

Justify

Argue

Defend 

Explain 

Six Relationship Skills

°Self Care :: Show Up Whole 

°Restore Respect :: It’s like Oxygen 

°Relinquish control :: Of Others 

°Receive Graciously :: Be Please-able! 

°Be Vulnerable :: Road of Intimacy

°Express Gratitude :: The Power of Words 

Eliminate :: Replace!! Look for the positive you can reinforce or BE instead of the negative Complaining :: Cheerful 

Criticizing :: Compliment 

Comparing :: Content

Correcting :: Charitable 

Condemning :: Compassionate 

This is the outline content that was supplied at the conference. 

Heartland Outline for Ladies conference

Key Passage: John 4:1-38
Key Verse: 35 Say not ye, There are yet four months, and [then] cometh harvest? behold, I say unto you,
Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest.

Session 1: Lift up your eyes,

The Great Commandment: Introspection
Mat 22:37-38 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.

We must first realize we need our sight corrected, uncolored and clear Corrected: SALVATION
Uncolored: Thoughts
Clear: seeing In Light

Session 2 and look on the fields;

The Great Commission: Circumspection
Mat 22:39And the second [is] like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

1 Cor 13:13
Faith Hope (introspection- Inward) greatest is charity (Outward)

Charity bears believes hopes endures... all things

Examples from being in the field

Session 3: 
Some tools to emotionally mature and OBEY the Lord

Delightful Christmas With Littles!

We have been blessed with four Grands, three of which are BOYS within 5 months of each other! They're celebrating their two year old birthdays, and I wanted to give them their own little Christmas Trees! 

Forgive the blurry picture... trying to get 2 year olds to stay still is nearly impossible! 

I looked and looked, and while I found so many trees I LOVED, all of the directions were in a foreign language and none had a "good" pattern. I was able to use one of these, and make it work. 

The best way is to PRINT the quarter piece on a full sheet of paper FOUR TIMES!  Tape them together to look similar to the one on the right, and then use it as your pattern. 

Cut two of Each line. 

  

Sorry but I don't have a pattern for the top little piece... I just cut four triangles, and a square for the bottom, and just made a little pyramid pillow or the top. 

I chose felt for the material, and used the same fabric for the bottom of each pillow, and a contrasting fabric for the top. I cut the edges with a pinking sheer, and just sewed the right sides out and left the "rough looking" seem to resemble a tree. 

I hot glued cute little pompons on the points of each pillow, perfect for young kids now, and could be used to hang ornaments on later as they get older. 

Here is the Finished Tree! 

To assemble the tree, I used nylon twine and an upholstery needle. Starting with the top piece, I sewed from the bottom if it down through each pillow, and through a button at the bottom. 

You can see here the string through one of the rows- down one side and back up again. 

This is the bottom - you can see the button. This was just to give the fabric some support and not tear through. You can also see the fabric looks a "Little Lumpy". That's because I added some rocks in the bottom pillow to give it some base support! 

When I finished the cord at the top, I made a little loop which has proven to be a brilliant decision! Little boys love to carry things around, and this hauls the tree safely using the support of the string! 

Such a cute little tree! 

When Sleep Elludes

4:15 am. CAT.

Thats "Central Africa Time" which is about 6-7 hours ahead of those far ones that inhabit my heart.

That seems to be the time I see these days. I wish it was because I am a morning person, but sadly that's just not the case!

Thoughts. Things out of my control. Dreams. Like seriously... really weird dreams.

I am admittedly the worst over-distance communicator. While I can communicate well, it seems that it is a location thing. I knew this about myself before the distance thing happened. I have struggled with correcting it, but I have really not figured out how to do it.

So boiled down... my communication looks a lot like this.

Close = Good.
Far = Bad.

I have no idea why. It isn't like my mind and heart shut the "far" ones out. Its quite the opposite in fact.

I think the biggest part of it is, it hurts. Like literally, physically hurts. There is a yearning and a desire to be with the far, and when it is Absolutely. Impossible. I seem to have no guard against the overwhelming missing and longing of them. It is almost like to survive, a part of me closes off. Like a slide covers my heart over the spaces the far inhabit. It is a protection to be sure, but it feels like a wall. A callous.

And even more troubling, to the far, it looks like disinterest. Un-love.

This makes a void, and that is always a problematic thing. Minds and hearts cannot easily manage voids. Voids are like sucking spaces that grab onto things, whether true or not, just to be filled. The void can fill with thoughts and feelings that are untrue. Thoughts that are completely understandable. Feelings that are real, painful. Both are justifiable.

The problem with voids filled with untruth is they don't go away. Like little swollen glands they remain painful when touched and grow with time. Time. Time.

And when the time passes and the far become the close, its just painful. Awkward. Funk.

Oh Lord! please help me to navigate this. I am overwhelmed with the weight of it. Troubled with the lack of solutions my feeble little brain can come up with. Frustrated with my weak self. Wanting things to feel full and free, whole and complete. These are the things that Only the Omniscient One can know, and the Omnipotent one can solve.

You have very little to work with, and this clay is really not the best for any potters wheel. I can feel the grit and rocks that will fight you. I can feel my off-centeredness fight against your hands. I am dry.

I fall on you to be broken. To be made pliable. Smooth. Useable.

Throw me upon the batt of your wheel and make a vessel that is useable. Loving. Able to pour out onto those near and far.

Thou art the Potter.

I am the clay.

Mold me and make me.

After thy will.

While I am waiting.

Yielded and still.

7 Sleeps...

Yesterday was our last Sunday Service in the bush. Not forever, Lord Willing, but for a long while. 

The people were so sweet, and at the end of service called us to the front and each group sent a representative to express their hearts, and honor us. Big Tree, Chikoka, the Youth, Mapungu Village - where they had to walk over 6 HOURS to attend, Muliliwa Village - they walked over 2 hours! Plus several men from other churches who have been attending Dan’s Men’s Bible Study on Tuesday’s for more than the last year. 

We were admonished to tell all of our stateside friends and family that we are Zambian now, and Must Please Come Back! 

We were told of their heartfelt gratitude as through the teachings their ears, which were once closed, are now open and their hearts have received the Gospel. Such sweet and hopeful testimonies from people who in this life, by my American standard, have so very little. 

They gave us gifts. 

Hand carved and decorated Cooking spoons, a hand carved mortar and pestle, bowls, 15 lbs of cracked corn and a huge bag of peanuts. 

A Goat. 

Savannah named him. He is safe forever now! 

3 Chickens. 

2 pigeons. 

Money. 

Sounds like a new song: the “12 days Of Zambia”! We were so humbled. 

And it was a little crazy too! We cannot possible eat all they gave us in one week! We certainly cannot bring most of it home with us. 

The money, shown in the picture is worth $1.15.  For them, that would pay to grind over 80 pounds of corn at the hammer mill, enough to feed their family for a few weeks! What a sacrifice! Especially knowing most don’t have any income coming in for a few months- Wow! what generosity! 

And as I woke this morning, the Lord spoke to my heart as only He does. 

While I was tempted to think, “they shouldn’t give us these things, we have enough! If they only knew....!” I kept thinking They Need this all so much more!! 

But... Jesus says “give and it shall be given”. They gave... as we taught them to give! 

I don’t want to sound callous or ungrateful- simply make the point. 

I don’t need cooking spoons! Or $1.15. I certainly don’t need a goat! These sweet, generous people truly sacrificed of what so very little they have, to honor us and show us their love for us. While it has little physical value, the spiritual and emotional and eternal value is huge! 

They GET IT! What more could we hope than to see a physical demonstration of doing what they’ve been taught to do!!? 

And how does God see my giving? Is it like this at all? My little life and the things I think are so valuable, and he says “Give” knowing it is a sacrifice to me. Knowing He doesn’t need it! Knowing I Need to Give! 

He sees my heart. Is it pure in my sacrifice? Is it even a sacrifice!?? I'm tempted to look at all the things I've given UP, but truly, what have I given? 

Im praying we finish this term well. I'm looking forward to being home and seeing my children. Enjoying some American treats and comforts. 

But there will be a difference in my mind. Im wondering if my heart will never fully be At Home while home. I've read so many Cross Culture blogs and books. Ex-Pats telling of their stories how they don't feel like they truly belong to their passport country, and I've thought, "That will never be me!" While I don't know for sure yet, but I'm feeling like I need to mentally and emotional prepare myself that maybe this time... it will be me.

Every Other Year Blogger...

Hesitation to even write this today washed over me as I looked at the page, and didn't like what looked back.

I want to change the back ground.

That signature still?? What?!

But blogging is like exercise. Forget that you haven't done it in weeks... Months.

OK! YEARS!

But TODAY is a new day. START (again!) TODAY!

And today of all days is a crazy place to start because seriously. I am transitioning back to the states in 13 days. It wouldn't be absurd to have the countdown in hours at this point, its THAT CLOSE!

But today is the day to start. Again.

This is the FIRST  MOVE in our entire married life that didn't involve packing up everything we own, and deciding what comes with us directly to whatever temporary place we will live, what goes into storage somewhere; a barn, a rental space, my moms garage. And what just gets pitched.

THE. FIRST. MOVE!

We were married in October, 1989.

Our first home was in the city of Rochester, and Dan moved in the month of our wedding, and I moved in after. Good Christian girl.

We sold that house in October, 1999. Exactly 10 years later. We lost our shirts on that sale. Housing in the City of Rochester consistently plummeted after we bought in 1989, and reached bottom in... yes... 1999.

So with over $14,000 debt, we moved into my parents basement.

One bedroom, not-even-a-kitchen, basement apartment.

Four Children. Ages 7, 5, 3, and 1. INSANE.

And a lot of our stuff went to a barn in Hilton. and a lot went to the garage. And even more went to the trash.

After 16 months, which was supposed to be 6 months, and felt like 12 years, we moved into (what we would think) was our "Forever Fixer-Upper Dream Home".

Dream Street!
Dream Layout!
Dream Town!
Dream Potential!

And IT WAS!!

Until it wasn't.

Enter a one time missions trip. Enter God. Enter Original Dreams emptied out into boxes and dumpsters and storage units, and New Dreams being planted as tiny seeds in *slightly unready* soil.

The bulk of this blog til this point has been the "fill in the gap" until 2013. But to the original point of this post, if there was a point...

We sold the Dream House. With now 5 children. Ages 14, 12, 10, 8 and 3.

From June 2006 until June 2007 we moved FIVE TIMES.

1. Farmhouse in Hilton to live with dear friends.
2. Basement apartment to live under dear friends.
3. City house renting from a former boss, that we nearly burned down. Another story for another day.
4. Back to the farmhouse, but setup in our pop-up camper.
5. Into a rental back in our Dream Town. Just a few miles away from Dream House.

Needless to say, all our "stuff" was never with us during this time! Our kids box of "MUST HAVE'S" was whittled from a large toter, to a medium packing box, to a shoe box. And not one of those Big-
Man's Workboot Boxes". A Child's Shoe box.

So many Traveling Pictures! 

After Christmas, 2010, we came to the conclusion that renting a house for nearly $1,000/month that

we were barely living in because of deputation, really made no sense. So... January 2011, in one of the Coldest Times I Can Remember, we once again divvied up everything into "Keep-Store-Pitch" and moved out of that house.

Offices in Unusual Places

We traveled quite extensively for deputation and lived in a camper part time, and when we weren't traveling, we went back to my parents basement apartment.

The Boys Part of the Living room

Again with four kids. Ages 15, 13, 11, and 6.

Our oldest lived on campus in College. She hasn't lived with us since she was 17. Even typing that brings tears to my eyes, because THAT certainly wasn't on my list of dreams.

From there, we transitioned back and forth from camper to the apartment, camper to the apartment. Until Finally, in March, 2013, we moved to Zambia!

NYC 10 Year Anniversary of 9/11

The Apartment during the Pitch/Pack/Purge 

When we first arrived in Zambia, we lived in a two bedroom cottage on the property of our missionary partners. We lived there for 2 months, with three children. Ages 17, 15 and 10. So much stuff in trunks with us, and most everything else in a shipping container traveling over the Ocean Blue. 

We then got our own place to rent in Zambia, and lived there for 19 months. We then came stateside for our daughters wedding, and packed up that entire house, knowing we DIDNT want to continue renting from that Landlord. Again... another post. Someday. Maybe!

All our goods were once again divvied. Take to US-Storage Unit-Pitch/Giveaway.

While in the states for the wedding, we first lived with our three oldest children who THANKFULLY had a wonderful house that was loaned to them by an Extremely Generous Family. We were there from January until July, 2015.

We had originally planned to return to Zambia in July, because the wedding was in April. But our next two children made plans for their weddings as well!!

So... Back to the hunt for a place to Live, and a precious girl LITERALLY moved out of her house and went back to live with her parents, and let us live in her home until October, 2015. What A GIFT!!

We returned to Zambia in October, 2015, and lived in another missionaries home until mid-December, 2015.

In December, the house that our missionary partners were leaving, (remember the cottage we lived in before? YEs, THAT place!)  and we moved into that place... but the MAIN house this time!

So!

Here I am... 13 days from Leaving on a Jetplane to go stateside, and I am marveling that this is the FIRST TIME I will travel, and have all my "Stuff" still in one place, with plans to return to it! I have a strange sense of surreal about it all. Not having to pitch, parcel, pack, and plan every little detail is leaving me a tad bit perplexed.

Did anyone count all those moves? I lost track somewhere around the 5-times-in-one-year part.

Alas, we are sort of in the precipice of another.

After typing all of this, there are s many emotions tied to each of these memories. Some of them are still kind of raw and a bit tender. Truly Following God is an adventure, and I would highly Recommend EVERYONE do it! But that doesn't mean it is easy. And it certainly isn't without challenges, pain and some really difficult times. But It is all Worth it!

And Maybe I can blog the next stage of this journey of my life!

"Rosey Day Fund"

Would you like to be a part? If you would like to sponsor one kit for $30, or any other amount to help grow the fund, you can do so by clicking this PayPal link! 100% goes to purchasing and distributing the kits! 

PayPal.Me/jcjalowiec

Go ahead. Google it. Bing away. DuckDuckGo. Whatever way you choose to search the internet, you will find articles.

“Articles? On What?”

Well, Thank you for asking!!

I am talking about the delicate subject of that monthly occurrence every girl experiences, and how difficult it is for those living in abject poverty deal with it. It is gritty, and an absolute shame the measures these young girls resort to because of lack of money, lack of education, and plenty of bad advice from similarly desperate girls.

They daily live with the worry of, “Will I start today?” Because nutrition is so bad, oftentimes their period is anything but regular. Alas, it does come and all too often she isn’t prepared for it. Not because she is negligent, or isn’t thinking of it! It’s because when there is a choice to buy food or pads, often the former wins out.

So, what is a girl to do?

She can stay homebound for those days.

She can just quit school. Many know girls who have done just that. Or... are that girl.

Girls in these poverty and below-poverty level countries still manage their monthly flow the way it was done in Biblical days. Folded up pieces of cloth. Crude. Unreliable. Un-secure. Insufficient. Embarrassing.

The other solution? Have something to be prepared for “that time”.

But that costs money.

Money she doesn’t have.

She needs money.

Some will do what girls have done for centuries. That age old profession that, sadly, is still one of the most guaranteed ways to generate income. The horrible truth is, especially in these cultures, the meager benefit of trading their bodies for money often comes with huge consequences.

Shame.

Reputation.

If only it stopped there.

They are at risk of HIV/Aids and any other sexually transmitted disease. Over 50% of this current generation has HIV/Aids, and the numbers aren’t shrinking. Their entire lives are now compromised because of desperation to properly manage those 5 days per month.

The least of the “sad” consequences is a pregnancy, but that brings with it a whole other host of difficulties to deal with! She can barely take care of herself, how will she manage a baby now? Girls as young as 14 become mothers. Most of them will never attend school again.

Hiv/Aids is on the rise again with this younger generation.

Pregnancy in young, barely teenage girls is commonplace.

The practice of witch doctors and other traditional beliefs are continuing to thrive.

How can this be the 21st century and things like this are still common problems with elusive solutions for MILLIONS OF GIRLS??

Well… here is one solution, and YOU CAN HELP!!!

When I was a girl, me and my friends had a code phrase for “that time".

"Want to go swimming?
"We’re going to the beach, want to come?”
"Hey! Lets go shopping for new clothes!”
Or the DREADED Swimming Class for PhysEd. ugh!!

We would say, “Aunt Rosey is visiting,” and a chorus of sympathetic “oohs!!” and nodding heads would be the response. All further questions would not be necessary! That is what prompted me to name this project “The Rosey Day Fund”.

The “Rosey Day Fund” raises money to purchase silicone menstruation cups and reusable cloth pads.

Each $30.00 kit will include:
1: silicone menstrual cup with carry bag
5: washable, reuseable, cotton pads
1: privacy drying bag
1: waterproof carry bag.

Each kit will potentially last for 2-3 years.

Not weeks, not months…. YEARS!!!

Thirty dollars could help keep a girl in school.

Thirty dollars could help keep a girl from contracting a sexually transmitting disease.

Thirty dollars could help her keep her dignity.

Her self respect.

Her life.

The cups are sourced from the states from  Anderson Global Trading LLC, a small company run by Christians from their home.

The cloth pads are made locally by Zambian women via http://www.projectluangwa.org . They are 100% cotton with a waterproof  protection layer.

Both are completely washable and reusable and can last up to three years!

I am committed to personally ordering the products, and overseeing the distribution of each one. Each kit will be accompanied with a gospel presentation and literature in English and ChiChewa. For what shall it profit a man (or girl!) if he shall gain the whole world (health!) and lose their own soul?

Each kit costs $30, but any amount will help!! 100% goes towards supplies and distributing them in Zambia.

PayPal.Me/jcjalowiec

Some Helpful Links:

Amazon link to view the silicone cups
https://www.amazon.com/Dioxin-Free-Silicone-Menstrual-Pre-Birth/dp/B00NUVBR3U/ref=lp_10419336011_1_2_a_it?srs=10419336011&ie=UTF8&qid=1473077309&sr=8-2 )

Website and FB page for Project Luangwa
http://www.projectluangwa.org
https://www.facebook.com/Project-Luangwa-101212036590238/about/?entry_point=page_nav_about_item&tab=page_info

If you had to choose a toilet like this… would you even be able to go???
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/19/my-toilet-world-toilet-day_n_6186164.html

Articles about girls and the days “Aunt Rosey” visits…
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/07/14/menstruation-myths_n_7495568.html

http://allafrica.com/stories/201601051305.html (Badly written statistics- they should clarify they are talking of the entire primary school years, not per year)

Colors of Zambia

Chitenge:  2 meters of fabric. Used for anything you can imagine!

I think it is one of the things that makes this land so unique. All of the color in the clothing is certainly a visual treat! It is such a contrast to all the red dirt.

Women use this for everything! From a baby carrier to clothing. BabyBjorn is not needed here! They will be used to wrap bundles of food or other purchases and then hauled to wherever they need to go. They are wrapped up as round pads and put on their heads as a balancing aid for hauling 20 liter jugs of water on their heads. They are used as blankets, head coverings, and also as ground coverings when they need to sit on the dirt.

Regardless of age the Chitenge is a staple necessity. Usually it is worn over a traditional skirt for the purpose of keeping it clean. Most people wash everything by hand, and they try to preserve the cleanliness of clothing as much as possible!

Everyone wears them! They are often used to unify the look of a group. It is a relatively easy way to have everyone look coordinated.

This picture is of the graduates from the Literacy Class of Big Tree Baptist. We made the men shirts of the matching fabric, and the women just wrap and tuck the ends into a makeshift waistband. Somehow it manages to stay! 

Matching the chitenge with with other items of clothing is completely unnecessary. I often think they try to be as clashing as possible!

 Some, however, are gifted in the skill of fabricating them into amazing dresses! This one takes several meters of fabric, and this girl made this herself! She attends the Chipata deaf church and my friend showed me this... I love it! They use the fabric to make bags and other totes as well.

Over trousers, jeans, other skirts. Layers... Layers...  Layers! 

 Colors! Colors! Colors!

 This little guy is just too cute not to put his face here! Little Dikson! 

 You can literally buy them anywhere. They are sold on the street, in shops, and people walking all over town with them slung over their arms. From 7 kwacha to as high as 70 kwacha and more! The difference is in the material itseld. Waxed, cotton, polyester, rayon. You name it, it is made into a chitenge!

These are a few of the shirts we gave to our visitors for Father's Day. The whole group will be all decked out tomorrow in Zambian chitenge attire and hopefully I will get a group shot of them all!